are you still at the devil's house?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
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