She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
