sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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