Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Randomize
