The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
