yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
My dad is sitting where you rode me
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
