like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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