break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
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