i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
