"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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