false alarm. still invincible.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
