It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
