im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Two words: blizzard sex
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
