Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize
