New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
