I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
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