woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
