dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
