never play flip cup with pint glasses
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
