I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize