I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
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