Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
