just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize