I want to stick my p in your. b.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
