I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
