I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
