Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
The feeling are messing with the penis
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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