Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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