hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
