we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
