im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize