i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
yeah, it was that bad.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going