i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
