You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.