I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
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