I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize