I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
