you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Randomize
