it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
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