Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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