His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize