What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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