Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
You're like the curious george of whores
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
