i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
