ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
