So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
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Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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