btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
