sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
