she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
