I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
She's the barista slut.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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