my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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