Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
me + whiskey = a bad person
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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