First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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