If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
