It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
