So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
