ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
