her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I have fence marks all over my body
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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