He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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