One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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