Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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