I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
