it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
We had to coat check the pizza.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
